Even better the second time around…This column originally ran in January 2007. Enjoy!

From Here to Eternity

We have one life-long task that will take us from here to eternity. Most tasks that we have will be finished once we die. We may strive to master the piano or learn how to ride a horse or water-ski. Perhaps we put a lot of time and effort into learning the ins and outs of how to run a particular computer program, or how to live a vegetarian lifestyle. There are so many tasks that we find ourselves caught up in as we go through life. But there is one task that we are all asked to work on, and one that will not disappear once our life is over. And that is the task of learning how to love. Love is the one thing that will remain with us throughout all of eternity. Love does not come to an end.

Since this is the case, becoming more loving is the one common task of everyone on the face of this earth. No matter what our race is, our physical condition, our emotional state, our occupation or vocation—whether we are married or single, young or old—our one common task is to become more loving.

When we're thinking about our lives and asking ourselves, "How are we doing?" it would be very useful to take the reading from 1 Corinthians as a guide. Paul mentions some of the ways in which we can discover if we have love.

The Same Vocation

We all have the same vocation, the same calling. That calling is to love. The calling is the same but we live it out in different ways. we are one body but many members—many different parts to play in that one body—one community. Some are called to be parents, some to belong to a religious community, some to teach, some to work at physically keeping and making the earth a beautiful and healthy place to live on. But if we become the best singer, the best mechanic, the best teacher, the best computer analyst—none of that will matter if we don't really love.

St. Paul even goes further: we can speak in tongues, possess prophetic powers, write the most profound theological and spiritual works, give all our possessions away to the poor, and even give our lives up, but if we do not have love, then it's all useless.

Self Deception

It's very possible to be in a position where a person can think that he or she is loving but not be really very loving at all. We can think about all the things that we may have given up in order to follow Christ more closely; all of the opportunities for gain or pleasure that we have put aside; all of the sacrifices we have made over the years. We can think of all of these things and more, and tell ourselves that we must be very loving.

This is pure nonsense. There is no direct relationship between our accomplishments, our status, our state in life and the quality and depth of our love. Let me repeat that—I think it's quite important. There is no direct relationship between what we do and the quality and depth of our love. This is clearly what Paul is telling us.

Using External Criteria

Remember there is always the possibility of self-deception. Our pride in our position can be our greatest enemy. We can fool ourselves into thinking that we are loving. We can do this because we look at our lives and we say: I work hard at my job, my family has a comfortable home, I don't cheat on my wife, we go on holidays together and so on. And yet, where is the real deep love—the patience and the affection, the understanding and the forgiveness, the kindness and the hope?

Living on the surface is one of the great dangers we all face. Superficial spiritual lives can afflict any of us. When we live on the surface, then we refuse any real reflection on our lives.

A Life Test

Instead of listing what we do and then being satisfied that we are loving people, we should list what we do and then ask how we do what we do. Is it with kindness, patience? Do we do it with irritation; do we insist on our own way all the time? Are we rude and arrogant? Are we envious and do we boast of our accomplishments?

Love Means Working At It

Strive for the greater gifts. Striving implies putting out energy. It means work. Put effort into it. Love is not just something that happens to us. A passive attitude won't help us when it comes to loving. It implies hard work—effort—it means we have to have a consciousness, an awareness of who we are and who we want to become. We need to have a goal: to become as loving as Jesus.

Love and Aging

Age makes no difference in our project of loving. As we get older we often experience the disappearance of our physical facilities. We may develop arthritis or some other disease that weakens us. We cannot do the things we used to do. And the temptation is to think that we are less than we used to be. But the real gauge of who we are as humans and Christians does not lie in our physical abilities; it lies in our capacity for love. Age makes no difference. Intellectual capacities make no difference. Physical strength makes no difference. Love makes the difference. Becoming loving is our preparation for heaven. That's where we will continue to love and our love will be made perfect. Love is the link, the bond between heaven and earth.