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Sunday Funnies
The Sunday Funnies, Nov. 6 & 7, 2010 Print E-mail

There was a religious woman who had to do a lot of traveling for her business. Flying made her very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her. One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and smirk and went back to what he was doing. After a while, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"

The woman replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible." He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?" She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible." He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?" The woman said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him." "What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically. "Then you can ask him," replied the woman.

 
The Sunday Funnies, Oct. 30 & 31, 2010 Print E-mail

A college student wrote a letter home:

Dear folks, I feel miserable cause I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels.

I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.

Your son, 

Marvin

 

P.S. I felt so terrible I ran after the mailman who picked this up at the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed to God that I could get it back, but I was too late.

 

A few days later, he received a letter from his father: Dear Son, Good news! Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came!

 

Love, Dad

 
The Sunday Funnies, Oct. 23 & 24, 2010 Print E-mail

Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, a priest and three other men of the cloth swapped their clerical garb for polos and khakis and time out on the golf course.

After several really horrible shots, their caddy asked, "You guys wouldn't be priests by any chance?"

"Actually, yes, we are," one cleric replied. "How did you know?"

"Easy," said the caddy, "I've never seen such bad golf and such clean language!"

 
The Sunday Funnies, Oct. 16 & 17, 2010 Print E-mail

The Sunday Funnies

A priest decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the priest reported the following results:

  • The first worm in alcohol: dead.
  • The second worm in cigarette smoke: dead.
  • Third worm in chocolate syrup: dead.
  • Fourth worm in good clean soil: alive.

So the priest asked his parishioners, “What can you learn from this demonstration? “

A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

 
The Sunday Funnies, Oct. 2 & 3, 2010 Print E-mail

Two members of a parish evangelization team were going door-to-door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces.

To her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open. Seeing the two church members at the door frustrated her. She stormed back to the door and flung it shut.

But the door still didn't close. Furious, she grabbed the door with two hands and shoved it as hard as she could. But again, the door wouldn't shut.

Convinced one of these rude church members was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would really teach them a lesson.

Just then, one of the church members said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat."

 
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