The World According to Kids: Words of Wisdom

• When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

• If you sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

• Never ask your three-year old brother to hold a tomato.

- From "Laughing Matters" complied by Curt VanDerwerff.

The World According to Kids

Little Patrick's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. Patrick asked his mom, "Where'd he come from?" "He came from heaven, Patrick." "Wow! I can see why they threw him out!"

A small child walked daily to and from school. Though  the weather one morning was questionable and clouds  were forming, this child made the daily trek to the elementary school. As the day progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother was worried that her child would be frightened walking back home from school, and she herself feared  the electrical storm might harm her child.

Following the roar of the thunder, lightning would cut through the sky like a flaming sword. Being concerned, the mother got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school. Soon she saw her small child walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up at the sky and smile.

One followed another, each time with her child stopping, looking at the streak of light and smiling. Finally, the mother called and asked, "What are you doing!"

Her child answered, "I'm smiling for God, He keeps taking pictures of me."

The World According to Kids

"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out."

"What's that, Joey?" asked Goldblatt.

"Well, according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"

"Right."

"And the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"

"Er, right."

"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"

"Again you're right."

"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, fought the Romans and were always doing something important, right?"

"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"

"What were all the grown-ups doing?"